There's One in Every Group...

"Seinfeld" relates to all of life, and I don't care what you say to refute that.  Every true fan knows what it's like to make a hilarious, situationally appropriate "Seinfeld" reference and then hear only crickets chirping when the crowd doesn't know what you're talking about.  I hope this isn't one of those times.  One of my favorite quotes comes from George.  He says, "Every group has someone they all make fun of.  Like us with Elaine."  I always thought that was funny... until I realized how true that statement is.  And the fact that I am Elaine.

I think it hit me when we were all at the Applebee's a couple Saturday nights ago.  The Silly Six plus one (my cousin) were enjoying the half price greasy appetizers and we were laughing (as usual).  Then the conversation took a turn for the weird (as usual), and I became the running brunt of the joke (as usual).  I'm not going to lie-- it was still hilarious, but it hit me suddenly that I am the one in the group that everyone makes fun of most often!  I rewound my memories to see if I was right. 

Scene one: playing "Things" with the group.  Recurring "thing"?  Redheads.

Scene two: playing "Things" with the group.  Recurring "thing"?  Amanda, drunk (To keep my reputation unblemished, I would like to point out that I have never been drunk).

Scene three: lunch at the Cheesecake Factory.  Everyone laughs at the fact that Amanda's heart is "the Berlin Wall."

Then I realized there were too many scenes to count.  So I tried to play the guilt card.


"You know, it's just because I'm single.  I'll bet when I'm married you all won't make fun of me all the time."
"No, then I'm pretty sure we'll just have a lot more ammunition!"  Thanks, Bestie's Husband.


I made a face (which doesn't help them not make fun of me, by the way).  I was told there was "just something" about me that made it easy to make fun of me.  Great...?  After discovering my place in the Silly Six, I thought about my other groups of friends.  Did I hold that position in other groups, too?!  I did.  I didn't know whether to be ashamed or amused.


I decided I'd go for amused.  If somebody has to be "someone they all make fun of," I don't mind if it's me.  It's still pretty funny, even if I have to defend myself against ridiculous allegations.  And I love making people laugh, so if it's at my expense... that's okay.  Besides, it's not always me they make fun of.  We're kind of a ruthless group and go for the comedic jugular every now and then.  But meanwhile, I guess I'll still be the one "they all make fun of."  I won't complain too much, because at least there's a "they" to hang out with.  And "they" make me laugh.

Who is it in your group that you all make fun of?  If you don't know... it's probably you.

"Have You Had Any Procedures..."

Outings to "the Applebees" are always a good time with the Silly Six, as I have decided to call us.  Sometimes the music's too loud, and the song choice is sketchy; like tonight when they pulled out a random Spice Girls B-side track that left me admittedly giddy and nostalgic.  Let me tell you, it scared me how easily those words came out of my mouth after being locked up since my junior high days.  The recesses of one's brain is a very mysterious thing.  Back to "the Applebees."  The food always leaves me wishing I'd never even seen the menu, and the service always leaves me wanting to tip 15-20% of my fist in the server's face.  But the company and the conversation... that's always a good time.

Except maybe today, when I wanted to pretend that I didn't know my friends.  We have a knack for laughing louder than anyone who is actually drinking alcohol, when all we have in our systems is maybe some caffeine and greasy food.  But that's not the problem.  The problem was our conversation.  All six of us kind of spoke at once.

"That's the first question I ask a girl-- 'Have you ever  been a man?'"
"Really?  That's the first thing you ask.  Really?"
"That's insulting!  That's implying she looks like a man!"
"Wouldn't you be able to tell by her man-hands?"
"Not always; some guys have small hands."
"Did you ever ask me that question?"
"Yeah, when I was saying a bunch of stuff, then said, 'Are you now, or have you ever been, a man'..."
"Oh right, when we were going through that checklist."
"Or you could ask if they've had any operations."
"YOU'VE had an operation."
"Well, I guess procedures."

And it only degenerated from there.  So I ask you, from one single person to... other people, married or single-- Have any of you legitimately asked about... procedures?  Because I feel like that's kind of an unusual question to ask anyone, ever, let alone right off the bat.  But I don't know; maybe it's just me.

Good thing I have these people around for relationship advice.