From Irrational Fears to Real Issues...

It all started in my best friend's car when I was discussing the possibility of getting a haircut. I hemmed and hawed with her about the pros and cons of cutting my long, curly red hair.
"But I have waited so long for my hair to grow out! It takes so long and I love it long. I rarely complain about it when it's long."
"So keep it long..."
"But I'd love to cut it into a cute angled bob like that girl in my apartment building."
"So cut it..."
"But..." I paused. I hated to admit what I was going to say next. I said it anyway. "This is stupid, and you're going to laugh, but... I have this fear that I'm going to cut my hair, and then immediately afterward I will meet the man of my dreams and we will quickly date and then I would get married, and my hair would be short, and I've always wanted long hair for my wedding!"
There was a brief silence as the car hummed its way to the mall. Then we erupted in laughter.
"That is totally irrational!"
"I know!"
After our giggles died down, there was another silence. I spoke up again.
"The problem is I just can't commit! Or I make impulse decisions. There's no in-between. And this does not bode well for my future..."
Giggles again.
"Hopefully this does not mean I will impulsively marry or not be able to commit to the right one... I actually think I have way more issues than anyone with no dating experience should have. You know, by not dating, I have saved myself from tons of emotional and physical issues... but by not dating, I have also developed tons of issues. Experiencing years of rejection by omission has kind of played havoc on me..."
We laughed. And we felt like we were on a sit-com. But truly, these issues are real, and as I sat there thinking of them, I thought maybe I should warn young, single women to be aware of these potential hazards of singleness.
As a single young woman, I'd made an art of guarding my heart. As my best friend's husband put it, I'd put the Berlin wall around my heart and snipers on top, shooting down all those who'd try to climb in. This was good, in that I was not swayed by potential suitors who would only break my heart and take pieces with them. This was bad, in that I removed any vulnerability when it came to relationships with guys, thereby appearing cold-hearted.
I haven't yet come up with a good solution for a young woman who wants to wait to date until she has met someone who meets God's standards for her... a solution that would keep her open and soft-hearted rather than closed-off and distanced... but when I do, be certain I'll blog about it.