Today I sat for a while in the relative cold outside a local Starbucks. Sipping my seasonally inappropriate passion tea lemonade, I squinted into the sunlight as I attempted to put into words what has been flitting around my head these last weeks. Some, too personal, will never be put into words. But as I sat there, this is a bit of what came to my mind.
Sometimes I feel my life playing out like a movie-- a "rom-com" without the rom. Don't think less of me when I tell you that I even play a mental soundtrack. Most times, I am the weirdo quirky best friend who supports the leading lady and provides comic relief. Once in a while, however, I am the leading lady. I see my life in the reels of film-- as I come home to an empty apartment, as I cackle and bemoan life with my girlfriends, when I wrestle with life decisions and emotions. Only the satisfying resolution is missing; the last scenes which play out to a happy conclusion before the credits roll. That "aha" moment never comes. The leading man never comes out of nowhere with his pithy, witty charm and devilish grin. Maybe that's why I keep watching rom-coms. I love when things change for the leading lady, when things resolve, and when the music swells and the camera pans away.
But life isn't a rom-com. It's not even a com. It just is life. Perhaps it is my expectations of my brand of a happy ending that causes me to stop trusting God, take my eyes off Him, and place undue attention on myself and my desires and dreams. See, what's missing from rom-coms is an eternal focus. My story may not be the stuff of Hollywood, but it is a good story, because it is written by the sovereign Creator and Sustainer. I'll be satisfied with the journey until I reach the happy ending He's written. I might still create mental soundtracks though.
Hang in there!
ReplyDelete