April 26, 2010

My Inner Inkwell...

I told a writer friend of mine today that my "inner inkwell" has temporarily dried up.  I don't know why, but the words won't come.  It's no surprise, really.  Not to be fatalistic or self-pitying, but it usually ends up that whatever I try my hand at, I end up either failing or not completing it.  My point of view is that it's God's way of shutting the doors in that loooong hallway of options in my life.  I peek my head in the doorway of fashion design, and it promptly closes.  Peering around the doorway of starting a cupcakery didn't last long, and now I'm slowly being shut out of the publishing "room."  I'm still in that long hallway, trying door after door, waiting for the door that will stay open and the room that will welcome me in for good. 

I'm not ending my blog, I'm not giving up on writing for pleasure, but I'm thinking that I'm giving up on writing for profit.  It may be the reason my words are gone-- I don't want to do it because I have to, and recently I've felt like I have to write so I can get my work out there for women to read.  I still feel that the Lord has things for me to share with women, but the door on publishing seems to be closing in front of my face, no matter how hard I push to get in.  So, I hope you'll check back here every once in a while.  I promise, when the words come again, when the inner inkwell fills up, I will have something for you.  It will be something I've learned from all of this, I'm sure, and I hope it will help you.  Until then, walk your own hallway, try your own doors, and don't think you're a failure if the door closes (like I've thought in the past).  Just thank God for the clarification and head back down that hallway.  There's a door somewhere that he has waiting for you to find, and you will.  And so will I.

1 comment:

  1. I completely understand...my inner soul of writing has been dried up lately, too. I have been able to write on my own, alone, but not publicly. I don't think you should give up, however. You're totally gifted and have something to offer! Maybe it'll motivate me! :-) Miss you friend.

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