I Can See Clearly Now...

I have been neglecting my blog.  I have not felt inspired, I have not felt the words, and so I've been avoiding my blog like I avoid anything with mustard in it.  Despite my writer's block, I keep breathing, sleeping, eating, and living and therefore keep thinking about things I could write about, if I were to feel inspired and feel the words.  One of these things is a thought that's been rolling around unfomed in my mind since I left college, and has only recently begun to take shape.  The following are my early thoughts; I may expound on the idea later, but let me know what you think (especially you women who may know exactly what I'm talking about) and if you agree or disagree.

I have come to the realization that I have been misled.  Thinking back to my college days, many a happily married woman gave advice to the eager ears of single young women.  Much of it was useful, and we soaked it up (I was in good company then, unlike now when I am one of only a handful of single women left in my group).  However, I remember many times hearing something along the lines of this:

"When I was fully satisfied in the Lord alone, that's when I met my husband!"
"He came when I stopped looking for him!"
"I didn't meet my husband until I was totally focused on the Lord."

While that may seem like the case for them, I have realized that that is simply wrong.  Here's why:
1.  God is not an "if-then" statement.  There is no "if I do this, then God will do this."  God's will is not contingent upon our actions.  The idea that we must do something in order for God to bless us with something gives us way too much credit and is works-based.
2.  These statements assume that someone can achieve total satisfaction in/focus on the Lord, like a finish line in their faith.  The truth is, it's part of sanctification.  Even when actively striving for satisfaction in/focusing on the Lord, it will not be until heaven that we are fully satisfied in Him and focused on Him.  Therefore there cannot be a point in our lives where we say, "Ah, good.  I'm finally satisfied in God alone, and totally focused on Him.  Now where's my husband?"
3.  These statements can cause young women to pursue the Lord for the wrong reasons.  God tells us in His word that man looks on the outside, but God looks at the heart.  He knows our motivations.  If we are doing our devotions, getting involved in ministry, and worshiping the Lord because we think it will bring us ever-closer to the altar, He knows that, and that pursuit is worthless, as it is selfish and self-seeking.  We must pursue the Lord simply because our relationship with Him is the single most beautiful, satisfying, safe thing in our lives, and the closer we become to Him, the more satisfied we are, and other things seem to fade in comparison to His glory.
4.  These statements insultingly assume that the many godly single women out there are not finding their satisfaction in/focusing on the Lord.  I can think of so many of these women who have proved just the opposite.  So many single Christian women have been examples to me of what a woman after God's own heart looks like, and I am encouraged by them.  To imply that they are not pursuing the Lord because they haven't been blessed with a husband is ridiculous.
5.  Along the same vein, this also implies that all wome who are married are fully satisfied in/focused on the Lord.  I have known many married women who may be believers but leave something to be desired in their pursuit of righteousness.

I wish so badly that I could speak to the young women at Moody and share with them the reality of long-term singleness.  I'd like to tell them how hard it will be, and what they should begin to do and think now to prepare them for the road ahead.  And I would not tell them that when they stop looking/find their satisfaction in the Lord/focus on the Lord they will find Mr. Right.  Because it doesn't work that way.  I'd tell them to simply be faithful where they're at.  Do what God is calling them to do right now.  Grow their relationship with God daily and pursue righteousness.  And if God blesses them with a husband, great.  If not, then He will sustain them and teach them more than they ever thought they'd learn, which is exactly what I am learning now.