The Anti-Hipster...

My generation is a generation of hipsters.  For those of you over the age of forty, under the age of five, living under a rock or maybe in Oklahoma: a hipster is, as defined by the urban dictionary,  "a subculture of men and women typically in their 20's and 30's that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter."

I have come to the {happy} realization that, despite the pressures of today's culture and my age bracket, I am not dating a hipster.  While I myself may or may not possess some hipster tastes, BF does not.  Am I alone here?  In a sea of hipster men {weird amalgamations of nerd and metrosexual}, does your man stand out as anti-hipster, and dare I say, more stereotypically manly?  Hipster men, don't get me wrong: you're OK in my book.  I just don't want to date you {or anyone besides BF for that matter, but you know what I mean}.

You know your man is anti-hipster if:

• He sports neither man-bangs nor some other such Florence Henderson-type 'do.
• His pants would never be mistaken for jeggings.
• He believes cardigans are for Mr. Rogers (though I kind of dig cardis.  See what I mean?).
• Vintage paraphernalia, in his opinion, is dead people's stuff.
• The artsy-fartsy type annoys the crap out of him.
• He doesn't know what an "etsy" or an "urban outfitters" is.
• His glasses are functional, nothing more.
• His shoes have laces.
• You immediately know he's male; he's not even a little androgynous.
• He likes what he likes, even if it's mainstream.
• He doesn't need his iPod surgically removed from his ears.
• He doesn't have/want/read a blog.
• He has not had a philosophical phrase/symbol tattooed anywhere on his person.
• He doesn't even wear a scarf if it's cold.
• He thinks bicycles are toys.
• The only time he uses the word "progressive" is in relation to sanctification.
• His only hat is a beat up baseball cap.
• He weighs more than 100 pounds.

{I must note, however, that BF has had an ironic mustache, wears witty t-shirts, and displays public nerdiness (though his is genuine)}

These hipsters are the more educated and less apathetic hippies of my parents' generation, and while they have their charms, I am glad I'm not dating one.  Mostly because of the whole androgynous haircut and jeggings thing.  So don't hate-- celebrate-- if you too are one of the few and proud to not be dating a hipster.  Which maybe is a hipster mindset in and of itself...? 

{image found here}

Stay tuned for my opinion of this generation's d-bag style.