"Have You Had Any Procedures..."

Outings to "the Applebees" are always a good time with the Silly Six, as I have decided to call us.  Sometimes the music's too loud, and the song choice is sketchy; like tonight when they pulled out a random Spice Girls B-side track that left me admittedly giddy and nostalgic.  Let me tell you, it scared me how easily those words came out of my mouth after being locked up since my junior high days.  The recesses of one's brain is a very mysterious thing.  Back to "the Applebees."  The food always leaves me wishing I'd never even seen the menu, and the service always leaves me wanting to tip 15-20% of my fist in the server's face.  But the company and the conversation... that's always a good time.

Except maybe today, when I wanted to pretend that I didn't know my friends.  We have a knack for laughing louder than anyone who is actually drinking alcohol, when all we have in our systems is maybe some caffeine and greasy food.  But that's not the problem.  The problem was our conversation.  All six of us kind of spoke at once.

"That's the first question I ask a girl-- 'Have you ever  been a man?'"
"Really?  That's the first thing you ask.  Really?"
"That's insulting!  That's implying she looks like a man!"
"Wouldn't you be able to tell by her man-hands?"
"Not always; some guys have small hands."
"Did you ever ask me that question?"
"Yeah, when I was saying a bunch of stuff, then said, 'Are you now, or have you ever been, a man'..."
"Oh right, when we were going through that checklist."
"Or you could ask if they've had any operations."
"YOU'VE had an operation."
"Well, I guess procedures."

And it only degenerated from there.  So I ask you, from one single person to... other people, married or single-- Have any of you legitimately asked about... procedures?  Because I feel like that's kind of an unusual question to ask anyone, ever, let alone right off the bat.  But I don't know; maybe it's just me.

Good thing I have these people around for relationship advice.